Why Ritual Matters
The Men's Fire often creates Rituals
so that we may work with our inner selves.
Some of us have spiritual inclinations
and so feel like this is spiritual work.
Others of us have a more psychological orientation
and feel that Ritual is working with
our subconscious or unconscious minds.
There are some of us that don't really relate
to either the spiritual or psychological.
And still those men feel
a kind of Healing Power in Ritual.
Why Ritual has such power for us
is, in the end, a mystery.
Just as I am typing these words on a computer,
There is much about this computer
That is a mystery to me.
And just because I don't understand
How this incredibly sophisticated machine works,
Doesn't mean that it isn't incredibly effective
in communicating with you.
What Rituals Can Look Like
These are a few brief descriptions of Rituals
that are held by The Men's Fire:
The Ancestor Ritual
This Ritual takes place on
the first Wednesday night of November
loosely corresponding to El Dia De Los Muertos or
The Day of the Dead.
After our normal opening of
drumming, singing, invocation and poetry,
We leave the circle and then one by one
re-enter the circle after being smudged
with the smoke of burning sage.
Being bathed in smoke
is a Native American tradition
which we borrow.
It is meant to both purify and protect a person
As they enter Sacred Space.
It helps us focus on the Sacred aspect of our efforts.
There is little or no speaking during the Smudging.
After we have all regained our seats,
we have a period of silence
and then as men feel called,
they speak the name of someone
Who they consider an Ancestor.
We define an Ancestor as
Any person or creature that has died
and to whom we feel
A heartfelt connection.
Sometimes we speak of siblings, parents, grandparents.
Sometimes we speak of family members
we may have never met
and have only heard stories of.
Sometimes we speak of spiritual teachers
or people we have known and cared for
Along the way in our lives.
Sometimes we speak of pets.
Once we have spoken the name of the Ancestor,
If we wish, we tell a brief story about them.
We continue this for three hours or so..
When we feel complete, we stand, hold hands
And take turns speaking about our gratitude..
We end by making sure each of us hugs every man present.
________________________________
The Ritual for Unresolvable Relationships
One night around the Fire, we began talking about
the people in our lives with whom we were unable to resolve the issues between us. For some it had to do with past lovers or partners, for some it was with a family member or a friend with whom they'd had a falling out.
We begin the night as usual with drumming and singing.
Then we leave the circle and take turns smudging each other with smoke from a burning dried sage bundle.
After the smudging we re-enter the circle
and take our seats.
We keep a tin of tobacco in the circle for ritual purposes again borrowing from Native American practices.
Before speaking each man
takes a bit of tobacco in his hand.
After a period of silence,
men rise one at a time and speak
about an unresolved relationship.
They share their gratitude for the gifts
that they received from the person
and they also speak of the wound that persists
because of the lack of ability or opportunity
to find resolution with that person.
The man may speak to this person directly into the Fire
in order that he feels heard by this absent person.
Then the man throws the tobacco into the Fire and speaks to the way he can make peace with this unresolvable situation.
When every man has spoken
(and sometimes some men may want to speak more than once because of multiple relationships),
we stand, hold hands, and express our gratitude for whatever is in our hearts.
We close the circle and make sure
each of us hugs every man present.
Spring Ritual
This ritual often takes place
around the Spring Equinox.
Men bring objects of beauty like
flowers, small statues, rocks and crystals,
bowls of water, fruit or soil
and place then on the altar.
We light the Fire and open the Circle as usual.
then using a Talking Piece which we pass
from man to man, usually in a clockwise direction.
Each man takes the Talking Piece
and speaks about something that is
being born in him at that particular time in his life
or he speaks about something he wants to give birth to
that hasn't yet manifested itself.
The Talking Piece goes around the Circle
as often as is necessary.
If a man doesn't have anything to say,
he can simply pass the Talking Piece to his left
without speaking.
No one is ever interrupted when speaking
with the Talking Piece in his hand.
The Men's Fire often creates Rituals
so that we may work with our inner selves.
Some of us have spiritual inclinations
and so feel like this is spiritual work.
Others of us have a more psychological orientation
and feel that Ritual is working with
our subconscious or unconscious minds.
There are some of us that don't really relate
to either the spiritual or psychological.
And still those men feel
a kind of Healing Power in Ritual.
Why Ritual has such power for us
is, in the end, a mystery.
Just as I am typing these words on a computer,
There is much about this computer
That is a mystery to me.
And just because I don't understand
How this incredibly sophisticated machine works,
Doesn't mean that it isn't incredibly effective
in communicating with you.
What Rituals Can Look Like
These are a few brief descriptions of Rituals
that are held by The Men's Fire:
The Ancestor Ritual
This Ritual takes place on
the first Wednesday night of November
loosely corresponding to El Dia De Los Muertos or
The Day of the Dead.
After our normal opening of
drumming, singing, invocation and poetry,
We leave the circle and then one by one
re-enter the circle after being smudged
with the smoke of burning sage.
Being bathed in smoke
is a Native American tradition
which we borrow.
It is meant to both purify and protect a person
As they enter Sacred Space.
It helps us focus on the Sacred aspect of our efforts.
There is little or no speaking during the Smudging.
After we have all regained our seats,
we have a period of silence
and then as men feel called,
they speak the name of someone
Who they consider an Ancestor.
We define an Ancestor as
Any person or creature that has died
and to whom we feel
A heartfelt connection.
Sometimes we speak of siblings, parents, grandparents.
Sometimes we speak of family members
we may have never met
and have only heard stories of.
Sometimes we speak of spiritual teachers
or people we have known and cared for
Along the way in our lives.
Sometimes we speak of pets.
Once we have spoken the name of the Ancestor,
If we wish, we tell a brief story about them.
We continue this for three hours or so..
When we feel complete, we stand, hold hands
And take turns speaking about our gratitude..
We end by making sure each of us hugs every man present.
________________________________
The Ritual for Unresolvable Relationships
One night around the Fire, we began talking about
the people in our lives with whom we were unable to resolve the issues between us. For some it had to do with past lovers or partners, for some it was with a family member or a friend with whom they'd had a falling out.
We begin the night as usual with drumming and singing.
Then we leave the circle and take turns smudging each other with smoke from a burning dried sage bundle.
After the smudging we re-enter the circle
and take our seats.
We keep a tin of tobacco in the circle for ritual purposes again borrowing from Native American practices.
Before speaking each man
takes a bit of tobacco in his hand.
After a period of silence,
men rise one at a time and speak
about an unresolved relationship.
They share their gratitude for the gifts
that they received from the person
and they also speak of the wound that persists
because of the lack of ability or opportunity
to find resolution with that person.
The man may speak to this person directly into the Fire
in order that he feels heard by this absent person.
Then the man throws the tobacco into the Fire and speaks to the way he can make peace with this unresolvable situation.
When every man has spoken
(and sometimes some men may want to speak more than once because of multiple relationships),
we stand, hold hands, and express our gratitude for whatever is in our hearts.
We close the circle and make sure
each of us hugs every man present.
Spring Ritual
This ritual often takes place
around the Spring Equinox.
Men bring objects of beauty like
flowers, small statues, rocks and crystals,
bowls of water, fruit or soil
and place then on the altar.
We light the Fire and open the Circle as usual.
then using a Talking Piece which we pass
from man to man, usually in a clockwise direction.
Each man takes the Talking Piece
and speaks about something that is
being born in him at that particular time in his life
or he speaks about something he wants to give birth to
that hasn't yet manifested itself.
The Talking Piece goes around the Circle
as often as is necessary.
If a man doesn't have anything to say,
he can simply pass the Talking Piece to his left
without speaking.
No one is ever interrupted when speaking
with the Talking Piece in his hand.